Holy Mother Sarada Devi’s Life and Ideals – Influence on today’s Women Part 6

Women play a pivotal role in maintaining family. Today’s nuclear family lives are becoming increasingly complicated because of the intolerance of the partners towards each other. Relationships based on mutual respect and love, which found its pinnacle in the relationship between Sri Ramakrishna and the Holy Mother, are lacking. Although both men and women are equal partners in a successful marriage, it is women who play a key role in terms of guiding and harmonizing, being naturally more compassionate, kind and loving of the two. The relationship, as is proven in the life of many devotees, can improve dramatically if one or both the partners take refuge in vidya maya, i.e. rise above ego, jealousy, possessiveness and intolerance by taking a cue from the life of the Holy Mother. That relationship should be based on sacrifices and respect, like the ideals shown by the living Gods themselves. Competitiveness, vying for each other’s attention, possessive attachment, intolerance and egotism should not cloud the relationship, as is happening today in many families who are unable to cope with mutual demands driven by selfish interests and lack of respect for each other.

In the days of yore the path of highest realization was open to men and women alike. Therefore Vedic age and the Puranic age developed the Rishikas, the realized souls who had bodies of women – wise and enlightened scholars like Gargi, Maitreyi, Apala, Ghosha, Viswavara, Arundhati and Lopamudra. In 7^th century the great Shankara had to reckon with Ubhaya Bharathi, the enlightened wife of Mandana Misra, who was blazing in knowledge like goddess Saraswati herself. However in the last thousands of years that tradition was lost. Swami Vivekananda rued that the day Hinduism lost its glory was the day it closed the doors of education and enlightenment to its women. With the advent of Holy mother and with Sri Ramakrishna’s adoption of an erudite woman, Yogeshwari, as the guru, the things began to look up once again and we saw the advent of several, if not many, wise women, who helped in changing the face of India and the world. The Holy Mother was one of the pioneers to break the glass ceiling. She demonstrated that attaining the supreme is no longer a taboo but a necessity for women to be perfect in her duties in this world. She was as if the truth of the scriptures personified, as Mahabharata mentions how a simple house wife could attain perfection through devotion to her husband, and a hunter could become the same by devotion to his worldly duties. The eighteenth chapter of Gita teaches us the same concept – one who performs one’s own duties can become perfect by worshipping through them the One who is the source of all inspirations behind work and by whom everything is permeated. Swami Vivekananda explains the same as the stage of evolution from “work as worship” to “work is worship”.

In today’s world, with better access to education, with the proliferation of many opportunities, women are in a better position to pursue their dreams. But there are very few who are willing to live the lure of materialism for the sake of realization of the spirit. We have the means and perhaps abilities, but not the willingness. The concept of sacrifice which is so essential for developing a positive outlook and approach, contentment and knowing where to draw the on material wants and possessions, in short the twin faculties of discrimination and dispassion, are wanting. Women are in a better position to cultivate these two traits and thereby become fit vehicles for emancipation and liberation in the truest sense of terms. That is the true liberation, not the liberation to follow the senses and thereby ruin their own lives.

In society women of today is sometimes looked upon as a commodity, an object of enjoyment, of lust fulfillment, and sadly the all-pervasive media has played a key role in developing that perception. Many untoward incidents in the society – the dowry, violence against women and children, harassment, all point towards a biased society, which still thinks rather poorly of its daughters. Sadly women themselves are not lacking in this respect. Most of the dowry cases are perpetrated by women against women and greed plays a key role. The violent incidents against women are driven by lust. Therefore in the words of Sri Ramakrishna, “Kamini Kanchan”, or lust and greed, are the twin evils that are behind all social malfunctions. Lust can be countered by purity and chastity while greed can be countered by simplicity, absence of desires and truthfulness. Women, who are to make the Holy Mother their role model, must be the symbols of purity as was the Mother herself. As Swamiji pointed out in his immortal words – “Oh India, don’t forget that the ideals of your womanhood are Sita, Savitri and Damayanti” – all famous for their purity and chastity. Sense enjoyments are good as long as they are within limits. Beyond limits, they are detrimental and hence certain disciplines on senses are needed to ensure that we do not go astray. If women lead in curbing enjoyments and devote more time towards selfless work, men would naturally follow and the propensity of lust would decrease and would be replaced by respect. If women follow their natural maternal instincts and educate their sons and daughters on the harmful effects of greed, and demonstrate a life of simplicity and austerity, society would be devoid of all monstrous evils in no time as all others would follow suit.