Psychology of stress

In Gita the lord says in the second chapter, verses 62 and 63–

Dhyatah vishayan punshah sangasteshupajayate
Sangat sanjayate kama kamat krodhabhijayate
Krodhatbhavati sanmohah sanmohat smriti bibhramah
Smriti bhramsad buddhinashah buddhinashad pranashyati

This means that while meditating constantly on a worldly matter which affects one deeply, one may develop an attachment and cannot get rid of the troublesome thought. Attachment results in desire and desire, if resisted or unfulfilled, results in anger. It is very surprising how the two common enemies of mankind as proclaimed in Gita – Anger and Desire, are intrinsically related, from the latter often the former evolves and the former often fuels the latter. The desire may be gross or even subtle, like earning some name and fame, a wish that somebody will praise an act, getting some material objects including begetting children, wealth and prosperity, power, good fortune, having to get go of something which is desirable or close to heart, i.e. possessiveness and so on. Sri Ramakrishna said that it is very difficult to control desires; subtle desires will always be there however hard you may try. You may not be even aware of them.

When the unfulfilled desire gives rise to anger, the person is deluded. Delusion means trapped into a world of one’s own making. A person is deluded by her ego to think that this non fulfillment of her desire is a conspiracy against her and she must resist it, at all cost, otherwise she will lose something. This delusion thus leads to an apparent lapse of memory. She forgets the incidents which might have helped her in countering her thought process, her very assumptions. She loses her ability to think rationally and is seized with “buddhinashah” or loss of intelligence, i.e. reasoning and a level headed realistic and objective assessment of the situation. When this happens, she is finished, because it results in an outburst or some disastrous situation not at all conducive to a sound mind and healthy living. This incident may torment her forever or for a very long time. Others of suicidal type may get depressed and may even kill themselves.

To quote an imaginary example, suppose I have a hidden desire that I should be given due respect in all official matters. However suppose in one case I was not consulted when an important decision was made. I became perturbed. Cogitating over it in my mind, I got deeply attached to the thought that I have been left out, perhaps intentionally. That’s a blow to my desire of getting respect, i.e. name and fame. My ego got hurt. I got angry. I made the person who did not consult me responsible for this. I was deluded by my ego in believing that this person had intentionally left me behind, perhaps she wants to usurp my position or had some ulterior motive. I did not bother to check her motives but simply got mad at her. I forgot that on a previous occasion she had come to me and consulted on another important decision, that this time there might be some compulsions at her end which were unknown to me. I did not try to get the other side of the story which I could have done had I judged with my normal level of intelligence. Instead, I chose to confront her and shout at her and this brought my professional and personal downfall. Later when I came to know of the true reason I was extremely repentant, but the damage was done – to a career, to a relationship and also to the very reputation for which I was so hankering.

Even if the above situation was the result of an ulterior motive against me what did I achieve by getting angry and upset? I just reinforced the other person’s position that I was unfit for consulting. Therefore either way I was a loser.

If only I had known those four verses of Gita and if only I had some spiritual discipline I could have done better! Because I would have been aware of my hidden impulses and desires, I would have been aware of the moment I was getting attached to the thought and I would have been aware of the moment I was losing my head and therefore I could not have lost my intelligent reasoning. Thus we could have avoided a situation like the one above. Perhaps I could have discussed and sorted out the matter or perhaps I would just have let it go, or could have had a discussion with somebody higher up.

That’s the essence of anger and stress management – spiritual discipline and giving reins to the intelligence instead of allowing the emotion to take control. Kathopanishad, a discourse between Yama, the god of death and Nachiketa, a young boy who is on the journey to realize his true self, provides a beautiful picture. If the self or individual is the rider, the body is a chariot, the driver is the intelligent will, reins are minds, and the horses are the sense organs. The roads are the sense objects. If one lets go of the control (reins, i.e. mind) from intelligent will, one is at the mercy of either the sensual cravings or the fickle mind with often disastrous consequence. The sense organs will run amok on the path of sense objects. So the best bet is to have the control in the hand of intelligent will, the charioteer, all along. Will, under the guidance of an enlightened self, would be able to control the sensory cravings like anger, desire, lust, greed, delusion, pride, with the help of a pure and effective mind as reins. Body will be led by senses on sense objects, under the control of the mind, which will be further controlled by the intelligent will, which will be guided by the senses.

This is aptly summarized by the Lord in Gita Chapter 3 –

Indriyani parani ahuh indriyebhyah param manah
Manasastu para budhhih yah buddhayah paratah tu sah

The above verses could be interpreted as - senses are greater than the body (they say), the mind is over and above the senses, the intelligent will is greater than the mind and one which is even above the intelligent will, one which guides it and the rest is the Self, the atman. Everything else is subordinate to a realized Self (therefore try realizing the Self first and everything else will fall in place).

In this way there are many interesting teachings in Gita which are not found in any modern psychology or psychoanalysis book and which would take Western science perhaps many years to comprehend.